Most times in a romantic relationship, we act in ways that fight our wholesomeness; doing things that are injurious to us as a girl without even realizing it. Certain actions we consider to be love are in fact unhealthy; this usually arise from the need to prove that we truly love and care about that special person. It isn’t a bad thing to let others know they are special. But it becomes very ugly when you go out of your way for a person by over stretching yourself because you are in love.
Below are some of the reasons you should not do that and why it isn’t a good idea.
The pain is double portion when the relationship ends.
Most pain we feel when a romantic relationship end comes as a result of stretching oneself beyond limit. Some chicks will sit and start to lament how much they had to give and this will even increase the bleeding wound.
Girls, if you must do anything, do something within your limit. Going overboard and beyond convenience might be emotionally fantastic but logically bad for you.
What if the relationship ends? It’s a loss and loss for you. You might need to learn the right mindset to help you stay sane in such challenging time.
Your well-being has to come first.
You should always consider you; your well-being is first. If it will put an ache on you, then it isn’t worth it. I remember a dear friend telling me the only person you should give sacrificially to, is God. As time flies, I realized the weight of those words. I should not ache in pain; doing things that is happiness threatening to me for a boyfriend.
A relationship is two complete persons coming together as a pair. It is not a case of one depending on the other to carry his cross. You are not meant to be his fixer and start fixing him or his problems. You are not his savior because the moment that savior mentality comes to play, you lose yourself.
It should always be you first.
The real and right man for you will not let you.
If he truly cares about you as much as you do care about him, so that you are willing go through mire for him, he will not be willingly to accept it. It is natural for a man to want comfort for the girl he loves. A real man will not find it comfy that his woman is going through stress no matter how much it is worth. He would rather be the one taking the heat.
If he is willing to allow you be in the heat, then he is not a real man and he’s therefore not right for you. Why will you make sacrifices for a man who is not right for you?
You don’t want to commit to a start you can’t finish
In context of the above, when such relationship progresses and leads to a next chapter (engagement or marriage), there is bound to chaos if you do not carry on with what you have started. For example, you used to be his supportive financier and now that you are married, you want him to step up. What if he is used to you bearing the financial burden and does not want to step? What if you are not able to finish what you started? What if you are tired and you think it is more than you bargained for? Sister, think always. Don’t start what you can’t finish.
The love can become sour
Stress is a killer. It makes anything lose its flavour. You may not enjoy sweetness in that romantic relationship if you are constantly in discomfort. Advise yourself to act within your comfort zone. When you over stretch yourself, it can even causes that love to become sour. This is because of the pressure that might arise and you start to see that S.O as the one responsible for the stress. At this point, you can easily get irritated. This gives room for the love to become faint.
The need to feel safe
If you call it quit with your significant other and you don’t end up together, you will still be the one counting your losses and everything else you have invested. This is why you need to be in the safe tent. It doesn’t have to be a loss loss. Only invest what you are comfortable with in a relationship so that no matter what, you will still be relaxed within your comfort zone. I don’t mean when a relationship goes south, you won’t feel the heartbreak because you were logical and extra careful; it only means you don’t have to cry two cry sis. You don’t have to cry for losing him and to make it cry number two, you cry for the sacrifices you have made.
I am wondering though, aside I love him; is there any other reason a girl would want to give an arm and a foot in a romantic relationship? Please, share your thoughts with me in comment section.